Saturday, February 5, 2011

Pizza Ranch: Chick-fil-A on steroids!

Click schedule, then enlarge in your browser

Bob Vander Plaats, the Sioux City, Iowa, Christian bully behind the Iowa mini-me version of the national LDS-led Family Leader, is on a crusade to dump the rest of Iowa's Supreme Court after picking off three in November's election.
     He was also instrumental in the recent Iowa House passage of HJR 6, which would ban same-sex marriage, civil unions and domestic partnerships.
     He's a good sport though. He offered homos some store-bought cookies to soften the blow and to burnish his image.
     We at Aksarbent have a better idea. He should offer the gay families he victimizes slices of pizza! Pizza Ranch pizza! It would be convenient, since so many of the stops on his current "Capturing momentum" tour are at Pizza Ranch restaurants in Iowa.
     And how many times will the haters hold court at Pizza Ranch during his tour? At least 30, according to the Family Leader schedule. That, of course, would be the Iowa Family Leader, not the national, Mormon-led Family Leader. Wink, wink, nod, nod.
     (Pizza Ranch, according to wikipedia, is a "Christian based company." Its vision: "To glorify God by positively impacting the world we live in.")
     Pizza Ranch's website says it would LOVE to hear from you!

NOTE: Pizza Ranch solicits comments via a webform, which means only they have a record of your comment. Do Aksarbent a favor. Before you click "Send...,"  copy your comment to them, go back to this post, and paste it into our comment collector so we can see if they are telling the truth about the feedback they're getting. Aksarbent doesn't want your name or email addy. Thanks.

Pizza Ranch napkin: "Tidy Up Yer Ranch Hands"
(Davef3138, Flickr)
UPDATE: How much irony can you stand?
Fifty-nine-year-old Lawrence Vander Esch of Hull, the founder of the Pizza Ranch chain, was sentenced in 2001 to ten years in prison. Vander Esch pleaded guilty in 2001 to fondling teenage male employees of the Pizza Ranch in Hull after falsely persuading them to donate semen samples for a medical research project.
     Vander Esch was sentenced to ten years in prison but was released in March 2005 for good behavior.
     A month before his release, the Iowa Supreme Court ruled in a separate case that sexual abuse does not occur if a defendant deceives a victim to get consent to perform a sex act. The ruling was applied retroactively to Vander Esch.

The Vander Plaats/Pizza Ranch connection...


  1. I hear they got caught violating Child Labor Laws

  2. heh...never too late...""Fifty-nine-year-old Lawrence Vander Esch of Hull, the founder of the Pizza Ranch chain, was sentenced in 2001 to ten years in prison. Vander Esch pleaded guilty in 2001 to fondling teenage male employees of the Pizza Ranch in Hull after falsely persuading them to donate semen samples for a medical research project."
    And this same criminal is The irony...
    Okay, so I'll just have to remember not to eat at Pizza Ranch restaurants. Oh, by the way, I don't believe your Jesus would think too highly of Mr. Vander Esch. And what about these alleged child labor law violations? And the connections between Pizza Ranch and this hypocrite homophobe Bob Vander Plaats? Get a grip, will ya? Step into the 21st Century with the rest of us and quit yer knuckle-dragging!"

  3. "Pizza Ranch vision statement: "To glorify God by positively impacting the world we live in."

    Alrighty then...waiting to feel the love fest; hope it's coming soon!

  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    1. Wonderful? I guess Ignorance is bliss. My GF worked at the Iowa City location after a manager was caught stealing from the store to cover lawyer fees for selling hard drugs. Soon after starting she noticed serious problems: favoritism between Dustin(GM) and his sister who also was a manager, Dustins’ sister (Kristen) and her bf(delivery driver) kept trying to score drugs from my GF and when they found out she doesn’t party they act surprised(Like if everyone is a junkie) then start gunning for her job(they succeeded). My GF reported people for doing drugs while on company time but it was Dustin himself using. Now the owner Brandon comes into town and starts by lying and making up Iowa Laws to cover for company policies about cigarette breaks, doesn’t even address his junkie crew straight guns for my GF. And my GF was wondering why didn’t they find a new manager to replace Braxton (Manager caught by police), she explained that she has been a manager at every single one of her last jobs and she is in good graces with her previous employers. Instead Dustin gives another person private promotion interviews in his bedroom and just like that a person who can barely read (not joking she really has troubles reading) the manager position. Soon after my GF was assaulted by a customer while on a delivery and when she told the owner (Brandon) that she would like to call the police he tells her that the store is busy so don’t do it. Needless to say she left then and there, she was afraid and confused while all he cared about was mistreating his minimum wage crew. He also makes inappropriate comments to females because he is really from Florida and gets super horny without his wife around. Later I made several complaints about all this and Brandon the owner threatens me by saying he has money to hire people and he doesn’t have to get his hands dirty. Mighty Christian of Pizza Ranch… And FYI-I know the crew from Iowa City and most are dirty and they don’t care about quality of food, I assure you people eat dirty food every day. The Sycamore Mall told Pizza Ranch that if they don’t stop bringing roaches they have to get out of the mall, so Pizza Ranch opens a location in a nearby town.

  5. We just ate there last night at the new location in Shakopee, MN. I saw their "mission" on the wall and wondered if they supported equal rights. Interesting. we won't be eating there again.

  6. Folks,

    I firmly believe the vast majority of the Pizza Ranch locations are very serious about offering excellent service, food and cleanliness.

    There are many good people running these stores and Pizza Ranch does give back to the community in many good ways--unlike a lot of other franchise stores, which are only out to make a buck.

    If there are locations that do not offer great service--I'm sure they will be out of business or under new management at some point in the near future. For the store owners who purchase a franchise, there are many rules, regulations and expectations. Those that do not fulfill the expectations, there are consequences.

    Please - Just keep this in mind.

    Also - If you are ever in the Sioux Falls, South Dakota area--Please feel free to stop into the Brandon, SD Pizza Ranch. You will receive great service, excellent (hot) food and a clean environment. I know this to be true...