Thursday, September 12, 2013

AKSARBENT learns that the obscene pillow made famous by celebrated sex columnist and homo, Dan Savage, was made in Nebraska

Back in February, AKSARBENT did a post on the beautifully-made, obscene pillow that Dan Savage received from "a reader," which he then photo­graphed, tweeting the image to Ann Landers' daughter, Margo Howard, asking her what her mother might have thought of the pillow lying on her old desk (which Savage now owns.)
     Well, evidently the pillow was made by a talented quilter in Lodgepole, NE who has a blog and who seems to be as pretty as she is witty (unless she's using someone else's photo, which we doubt, as she a) appears to be happily married and b) her entertaining quilting blog doesn't look much like a hookup site to us, although it might if we were perverts who worked for the NSA instead of upstanding Cornhusker homos who only listen to or watch smut if it's made by people who know they are being recorded. Except for the Hulk Hogan sex tape, which was awesome. (Sorry Hulkster — please believe we only love you more.)
     By the way, this pillow thing is AKSARBENT's biggest investigatory scoop since we noticed doggedly tracked down Lady Gaga's piano in a second-hand store.
     How did we find locate the source of this pillow?
     We have our ways. Okay, we saw Lodgepole in our blog log and it looked phallic so we clicked on it. Happy? Yeah, well we weren't when it took us to a quilting blog.
     Why did it take us almost six months?
     We are prone to procrastination.*
     Why do we ask, then answer, our own questions?
     We have a Donald Rumsfeld complex.
*Prone to procrastinate would make a nice pillow!

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