Ranker.com named Jean Stothert hottest mayor in the U.S., so the Omaha World-Herald asked challenger Heath Mello to rate his own dude pulchritude

Brad Dickson, the World-Herald's humor columnist, used to write gags for Jay Leno. He's the one who asked Heath Mello to answer the hotness scale question, which is here.
     As for the gay community, you wouldn't have to beat down the door of Gallup's operations center down on the riverfront to surmise a very split decision.
    We asked three card-carrying 'mo's about Heath's Hair:

'Mo #1: Great hair? I dunno. I never ran my fingers through it. (He is a professional hair stylist and wasn't perving on Heath.)
'Mo #2: Oh, right. Any guy with dimples that adorable who brags about his hair is either an idiot or pretending not to be self-aware
'Mo #3: Damn! I just wanna [redacted]. ('Mo 3 was having a perv, but he works in construction and wants to nail every third guy he sees.)
'Mo #3 addendum: No I don't, not as long as 3 out of 5 look like you. Now why don't you go [redacted] a bag of [redacted], blogger boy?

     We gotta say this: Jean Stothert is certainly funnier and we look forward to the day when her wit isn't constrained by her duties as mayor, a day we hope arrives soon.