Downton Abbey Season 3 Premiere: Unsinkable Martha warbles 'Let me call you sweetheart' to Countess Violet

The gay numbskull set (you know, the ones who drool in anticipation of diva snap duels the way their straight brothers anticipate pay-per-view rasslin') was probably expecting a prima donna primacy Battle Royale, but what they got last night on PBS was far better: matriarchal skirmishes tied to richness of character, not to topping each other's rejoinders.
     Shirley MacLaine knew what she had to do and got it done: "Martha is not just a crass, cranky American coming in there to call a spade a spade. She's very smart and sensitive to what's going on with her daughter's children. Violet is a human being with complications and a past of some pain that Martha understands."
     Martha's all-the-more-devasting-for-its-non-bitchiness takedown of Countess Violet made one footstompingly proud to be an Amurikan.
      Never mind the inconvenient truth that Brit Julian Fellowes wrote her dialogue.
      We're quite catholic here... if someone has to sell misplaced Yankee chauvinism back to its owners, why the hell shouldn't the articulate Mr. Fellowes give it his best shot, now that Marc Cherry is between series?
     Far be it from us to complain about Fellowes treating PBS viewers to the outrageous nonchalance of Shirley MacLaine good-naturedly dressing down a blueblood that she is simply too impatient to treat like an aristocrat.
     Besides, (just between youse and me, Toots) Countess Violet ain't all that, financially...
     As for Poor Shirley, she probably has her hands full with that nasty (but entertaining!) Telegraph mean girl columnist Jan Moir complaining about MacLaine's botox-impaired emoting, which wearies us.
     Here's the best dialogue of this season's opening salvo (courtesy of Downton Abbey online):

Martha Levinson/Shirley MacLaine: “Nothing ever alters for you people does it? Revolutions erupt and monarchies crash to the ground and the groom still cannot see the bride before the wedding.”
Countess Violet/Maggie Smith: “You Americans never understand the importance of tradition.”
Martha Levinson: “Yes we do, we just don’t give it power over us. History and tradition took Europe into a world war. Maybe you should think about letting go of its hand.”
Countess Violet (seconds later, off Martha's exit): “She’s like a homing pigeon. She finds our underbelly every time. Dreadful.”