Monday, March 4, 2013

Hockey world now gossiping itself to death over supposed imminent self-outing of Habs player

WEII update — rumor 'total nonsense': Flyers scout Patrick Burke, president of the social activist group You Can Play, joined Dennis & Callahan on Wednesday morning to talk about the rumor that a Canadiens player was preparing to announce publicly that he’s gay.
     “It’s total nonsense,” Burke said. “It’s completely fabricated. There’s no truth to this rumor. It was created by an anonymous Twitter account. It was then picked up by a couple of the less-reliable, let’s say, gay blogs. And it’s now being repeated in mainstream media...
     Josh is recently engaged to a lovely woman. I’ve spoken with the Canadiens about this. It’s very confusing to them. Obviously they’re supportive if they did have a gay player, and Josh is supportive of any potentially gay teammates. But it’s not him.”

Since this is a story rumor about hockey, we decided to illustrate it with a picture of a hockey player. We chose Josh Gorges, 28, a Montreal Canadiens defensiveman from BC and formerly of the San Jose (CA) Sharks.
     Why? Because he's wearing shorts! And because he has a cute sense of humor (see tweet declaring him not that hot — which Gorges self-mockingly retweeted.)
     Some hockey fans are saying that this week Gorges will become the first NHL player to come out while still playing. Another rumor says it will be a Blackhawks player. Here at AKSARBENT, we see no reason to limit the fruition of this rumor to one happy ending. 
     AKSARBENT's loyal readers know that we would never condone the publication of such an irresponsible rumor without first personally verifying that Mr. Gorges is, in fact, gay.
     To do otherwise would clearly be putting the Zamboni before the horse.
     However, much to our regret, it is a surer bet that the sun will flame out tomorrow than the likelihood that AKSARBENT would ever be able to personally and definitively verify Mr. Gorges' sexual orientation, though we would hardly be averse to such a task (or, as they say on twitter, #knowwhatImean).
     Incidentally, the Montreal Canadiens are called "The Habs" by hockey afficianados.
     Why this is so, is here.
     Above are four members of "The Habs" dressed down for Halloween.
     From left to right, Christopher Higgings, Higgins,  Mike Komisarek, Carey Price and Josh Gorges.


  1. Dont ever post anything again. Go back to school and or do something more constructive with your life, like being a garbage man or something.

  2. Go blow a horse, you Cornholer, err, I meant Cornhusker, but I was likely right the first time. You are an idiot and an asshole. Your sister/brother parents must be proud of their inbred son. Fucktard!!!