Monday, September 5, 2016

Perp in AKSARBENT home invasion now in protective custody

Small animals, be they rats, squirrels or other species, all sound alike to us when they wail in distress. We assumed, upon hearing the heretofore mentioned small furry screams just ahead of our charging cat, that a rat had someway made its way onto the premises but it turned out to be a kit (baby rabbit).  They're fast, so we sighed and headed to Home Depot for a trap, which is complicated to set and whose instructions we can no longer find.
     Hope we can remember, in years, how to work it (We should take a picture on an old 2 mb memory card and tape it to the box.)
     During his stay, Fluffy wasn't hungry but was quite thirsty and eagerly lapped up water in an empty tuna can. Then he went inside the trap (open on both sides) to hang out, ignoring sliced carrots, spinach and a strawberry. He just looked at us. After we verbally encouraged him to avail himself of the spread we carefully draped on the pressure plate to trigger the trap, he continued to look at us.
     DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH TIME WE SPENT REBAITING THE TRAP AFTER SPRINGING IT FIVE TIMES, YOU FUCKING BUNNY?
     Desperate circumstances call for desperate measures, so we got a mop and SMOOTHLY and NONCHALANTLY poked the exterior release, dropping and locking the doors. Fluffy didn't even flinch, continuing to regard us noncommittally.
     Fluffy is big enough to fend for himself, foodwise, but too small to escape murderous felines, so we didn't free him immediately, delivering him instead to a neighbor who keeps rabbits and who has extra cages. (He's wild and can't be housed with domesticated rabbits.) In a month or so, when he's bigger and faster, he'll be released from protective custody.

No comments:

Post a Comment

ShareThis