Rick Santorum in Iowa: Imbecility on Parade

Pennsylvania fuckwit Rick Santorum held court at a HyVee today in Iowa Falls, IA. One would be tempted to say he is reaching for a Michele Bachmann-level of fatuity, except that he was probably born that way.

"Marriage existed before government existed," he solemnly pronounced.

[But not civil marriage, which, in Iowa, is the point.]

The profoundly stupid Santorum flailed his hands, stacking unrelated thoughts onto a teetering tower of speciousness as they percolated through his arid, rock-strewn mind and bubbled out of his lips. He reminded AKSARBENT of its idiot high school history teacher, hired to coach swimming, whose lectures consisted of reading from the textbook to us and who pronounced Czar "Caesar."

But back to Santorum's idiotic stream-of-consciousness:

"It is the bringing together, according to the natural law, people of two genders, in nature, who come together to form a union for the purpose of the benefit of each of them because they are made in nature to fit together to live together, one on one, as we see in nature, with many species, to do what? To have children, to raise those children..."

Santorum obviously is either ignorant of or oblivious to those natural laws which cause the homosexual behavior that has been observed in at least 1,600 of the species he strangely thinks are ruled by some imaginary heterosexual natural law which has evidently escaped the theological feedlots of New Right dogma and is now taking refuge in the roomy recesses of his head.

One would love to ask Thick Rick what "natural laws" cause, for example, about 7% of domesticated rams to have nothing whatsoever to do with ewes, making exclusive homosexuality among male sheep about twice as popular as it is in male humans in the US.

None of the Iowa Falls HyVee patrons whom he lectured as if they were easily misled five-year-olds asked him anything challenging, which means they either 1) think he's hopeless or 2) Santorum correctly pegged them as malleable, rural Republican rubes.