Visitor's guide to Scotland by comedian Danny Bhoy

Excerpts:

You wouldn't think that Glasgow was one of the ten top holiday destinations in Europe. And you'd be right.

Glasgow was recently voted Britain's friendliest city, and it's not difficult to see why. Step into any bar here in the lively East End, and people will immediately want to know where YOU'RE from.

Scottish food is quite literally to die for.

They say traditional cooking comes from the heart. But here in Scotland, it comes from the liver, lungs and eyelids as well.

Haggis may sound disgusting, but just wait 'till you try it.

As you casually wander the winding cobbled streets, you may start to hear what sounds like someone fucking a cat. Relax. This is none other than the sound of Scotland's famous bagpipes.

What this light-hearted video doesn't mention is a dramatic rise in crimes against gays in Scotland. The Scotsman reports: "In Strathclyde, reported incidents have risen from 50 in 2004-5 to 286 last year, while in the Lothian and Borders area there was a rise from 45 to 167 over the same period."