But he couldn't resist tacking on an idiot coda that tortured common sense like the Marquis de Sade, then twisted it into a pretzel in order to blame liberals for DOMA. Here was his last paragraph:
Liberals praise diversity but generally urge courts to permissively construe the Constitution in order to validate federal power to impose continental uniformities. DOMA is such an imposition. Liberals may be rescued from it by jurisprudence true to conservative principles, properly understood.In other words:
Conservatives ran amok with DOMA but only because of peer pressure from Eddie Haskel-type liberals who I say GENERALLY do it. But liberals can be rescued (!) from the consequences of what they didn't do by applying conservative principles to those naughty neocons who foisted DOMA on guilty, guilty liberals.Perhaps it's time for Warren Buffett and the rest of the Washington Post's plantation owners to ease Will into his assisted living suite.
In the mean time, and we do mean mean, perhaps Will can muster some state-level outrage at the practice he deplores — specifically Tennessee's imposition of "uniformities" on municipalities like Nashville, whose nonconformist LGBT ordinance was recently whacked by the state.
We promise: if he gets the job done, we'll even let him blame liberals.