Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Cox Cable celebrates Earth Day with another deceptive mass mailing

Dear Cox: Next time you send AKSARBENT a lime-green
mailer, we will photograph it in the trash amidst chicken bones
and discarded coffee grounds. Go to hell and rip off Roy Cohn.
AKSARBENT, though it hasn't had Cox Internet in at least a decade, just received the latest installment in a never-ending series of Cox Cable come-ons in the mail.
     This one promotes Cox High Speed Internet Essential, which the cardboard, plastic-coated brochure describes as "blazing-fast."
     The cost is $19.99 for three months, $39.99 thereafter, modem extra. Nowhere in Cox's brochure, not even in the fine print, is the speed of the promoted product revealed, so we went to the Internet to find out.
     It's 3 megabits per second. AKSARBENT's current service, with Century Link, aka Qwest, aka USWest, aka Northwestern Bell, is cheaper.
     Right now, Google is wiring Kansas City with optical fibre for an Internet product that is 1,000 megabits per second.
     Wonder what overwrought adjective Cox's lame ad agency would use to describe that kind of residential service — more than 333 times faster than Cox's "blazing-fast" High Speed Internet Essential.

A Google Fiber crew gets ready to hang fiber cables
from a Kansas City utility pole.
     During our session, a pop-up sales window from Cox appeared, in which AKSARBENT, in a unnecessarily hostile manner, dumped on the chick at the other end of the popup window which rudely interrupted our research.
     A more constructive thing to have done would have been to ask the woman how to lessen Cox's mass-mailer assault on the environment by getting us off her company's damn mailing list.
Chat Information: Thank you for choosing Cox Communications. A representative will be with you shortly.

Chat Information: You are now chatting with Tiffany.

Tiffany: Hello! Welcome to the Sales Department!  How may I assist you with placing the order online today?
You: No questions. Just doing a blog post about how Cox is celebrating Earth Day with another cardboard-wasting, forest-leveling mass mailing in which it promotes Internet Essential without telling its customers in the mailing how fast the product is. Have a nice day!

Tiffany: Great!, It was a pleasure to chat with you. Have, not a good, but an Excellent and Lovely day!

You: In the post I'll be informing my [tens of thousands of monthly readers] that Century Link's product is cheaper. Bye for now!

Tiffany: You're free to do so.

Tiffany: Have a Nice Day!

1 comment:

  1. Good luck with that. One of the many things I hated about Cox is the inability to get a real price out of them when you ask about how much anything costs after the promotional price ends. I'm surprised you got a $39.95 price tag out of them.

    I miss Century Link internet. For some reason, it's not offered in my neighborhood. Verizon wi-fi isn't as good.